Why I’ve Been Hiding In Plain View (Coming Out of The Spiritual Closet Part 2 :))

Over the years, I’ve noticed myself occasionally engaging in behavior that seemed like self-sabotage.

So I decided to ask myself: “Self, what’s up with this?”

A few ideas came to mind (which I’ll share in the next post), but one emerged as the leader and root cause.

I remembered my third grade Catholic school teacher, Mrs. McGinley, telling us stories about Jesus. How he manifested extra bread and fish for hungry people. How he helped sick people feel better and how he made extra wine at a party. At 8 years old, I thought: “This guy is cool.”

I liked hearing about his willingness to speak his mind/heart too. Supposedly, he often got in trouble with the Pharisees (“the religious rules guys”) precisely because he followed his heart, not their rules. I could relate.

(Note: This is not a “religious” story, please bear with me while I get to the point).

What I realized is that Jesus was the very first person I heard about who followed his calling (Later I learned of many others like Buddha (left the palace to witness human suffering), Socrates (exposed ignorance and drank the hemlock), Harriet Tubman (antislavery rescuer), and the list goes on :) ), but those initial stories really impacted me, both because I was so young, and because, as you know, things didn’t turn out all that great for Jesus (at least not in a worldly sense).

So, what’s my point?

Well, it’s this: After learning about his public-speaking (basically encouraging people to be kind to each other), his run-ins with the “rules guys,” eventual small-celebrity-status, then most of his friends abandoning him, and him being murdered on a cross, my little girl self wondered if there always had to be such a terrifying outcome for doing one’s work in the world.


(3rd grade me)
As an adult, music and writing are my spiritual practice(s) and I do my work in the world. Even so, I have to admit there have been times, I’ve unconsciously shied away from stepping up. As strange as it sounds, this old memory is what I found buried underneath the fear and hesitation.

My cells have been screaming:

“When you follow your calling, your bliss, your creativity, your dreams, you are entering a danger zone, so, if you must do it, try to keep it to a minimum, bring it down a notch or do it in someone else’s shadow” (I have, at times, loved being an opening act for this reason, not that it’s not awesome (because it surely can be), but it also feels “safer.”)

Are there any places in your life where you stay in the metaphorical role of the opening act, hiding just a little?

If not, what are the main things that make it possible for you to be who you are in all your glory?

I’d love to hear from you!

If you’re willing, please leave a comment below :)

So much love,
Anne

Ps 2: If you’ve been in the closet about your songwriting, come join our Online Songwriting Circle! Registration ends November 14th, 2014. To join, send me an email with a song.

((If you’re afraid you can’t afford it, apply for our one scholarship spot by emailing me a song and telling me why I should pick you))

6 thoughts on “Why I’ve Been Hiding In Plain View (Coming Out of The Spiritual Closet Part 2 :))

  1. dear Anne, i find your advice extremely helpful and true. i was constantly battling against wether i should be me or a me that bigger people in the company think i should be… its always been a tug o’war.. and being me, chasing after my dreams has definitely put me in a danger zone, i have cut through stones and glasses, i was so so scared that i might lose myself.
    however, it doesn’t mean that the journey wasn’t worthwhile, worth the effort, cause every little time and effort has accumulated into amazing opportunities to be stronger and smarter. I’ve learned from them. i have to admit too that sometimes, i still get lost in this complicated world, but i believe that going through all of this is a part of growing up and maturing, its like fueling up your engine, and when the time is finally right, you’ll be the racer, and you’ll still be able to rock that steering wheel, Safely.

    • Dena,
      I remember you and you spoke of something similar this summer. Thank you for sharing. I think many people experience what you are describing. I am wishing for you that you will be able to be yourself with ease and not the tug-of-war. And that you are safe. That is my wish for you. Your songwriting is great! Please keep in touch! (I didn’t see your comment until today, I’m so glad I checked the blog). And yes, you’re right, it’s true, that your experiences can make you stronger. I look forward to seeing your flourish.
      Peace, Anne

  2. First things first, Happy Holidays to you and your family. Second, it appears that you’re ” coming out of hiding,” as per you Feb.7 date at SPACE. FANTASTIC!!! Finally, I call it coming out of your comfort zone. We’ve all developed a ” routine.” Everyday, we find ourselves face to face with some kind of challenge to our routine. The question now becomes, what are you going to do that’s different to help you face and ultimately, overcome that challenge?

    • Bernard, absolutely! Thank you for this comment. It’s SO TRUE. It’s just pushing that boundary of discomfort to create and live the way you are called to. What I’m going to do different (and what I have been doing differently) is being in environments of people who are desiring to also move out of their comfort zones for a greater good (in their own way) to support each other. What about you?

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