vulnerability hangover

On Monday, I hosted my very first Google Hangout on the 3 Keys to Unlocking Your Creativity & Expression When Life Is Busy (replay here) No biggie right? I mean I know this topic extremely well. It’s close to my heart. It’s like the marrow of who I am.

But no. Tuesday morning, I awoke with a massive vulnerability hangover.

During the Hangout, I felt fine, even good, inspired, but afterwards, OH MY GOODNESS, I was woozy. I had no idea how sharing some of the deepest parts of my creative life was going to make me feel so exposed. My ego wanted me to cut it out! Here are some of the scolding things it said to me:

You shouldn’t have let people in like that!

You should just write songs and play them, no need to bring people behind the scenes.

Don’t give so much of yourself away, it’s dangerous!

Then later that evening, somehow miraculously I found Brene Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability. If you haven’t seen it, you can watch it here. This is where I learned the phrase “vulnerability hangover” and could see that I definitely had one.

The truth is, there’s a part of me that’s been nudging me toward sharing and showing more of who I am in the creative process.

It’s also true to say that while this is exhilarating and feels authentic and happy to me, it’s also new and requires me to open up more.

Have you ever experienced a vulnerability hangover? If so, what was it like? What did you do?

Did you continue taking risks to increase your comfort level or take to your bed? ;)

For me, I got over it in about 24 hours :) , but I was fascinated by the human mind and what it will do to try and protect us (which was a lot of what my talk was about: the ego trying to talk us out of being creative and taking risks).

I’m thinking my vulnerability muscles can be exercised like my body so the burn won’t be so pronounced next time. In fact, I’m looking forward to it :)

What about you?

Love, Anne
Ps: Again, here is the replay for the 3 Keys to Unlocking Your Creativity & Expression When Life Is Busy ((note: fast forward to 5:40 because that’s where the talk starts) and let me know what you think. What are your ways of staying connected to your creativity?

6 thoughts on “vulnerability hangover

  1. Hi Anne,

    I am still experiencing a ‘ vulnerability hangover ‘.
    As you may know, I work 3 nights a week as a Nurse in Labor and Delivery. I love/adore my job, however I work with some really strong, sometimes cranky women.
    I confronted one of my co-workers after being treated in a rude way. I totally exposed myself and how sensitive I am to harsh verbal tones, etc. I even cried !!! It’s how I roll. Now after a few days off I am arguing with ‘ the voice’ that is saying ” you fool ! ” and I fear that showing my underbelly only opens me to attack in the future.
    Not a writer’s conundrum, but I think it’s a similar feeling.
    My hat off to you for the work you do !

    • Good for you Rachel! Sometimes we just are who we are in the moment and we regret it later, but the door has been opened! It’s good you let your feelings show! I love and adore you my friend! I very much relate, I’ve done that too. It makes me feel like a puppy who then wants to then hide under the front porch. I love your sensitive self. I bet the standard of how people talk to each other will shift now though in your place of work. Peace, a

  2. Hi Anne, Yes this happens to me quite a bit. I am a creative person to the core. I am also an Intuitive Healer and Energy Practitioner. I have learned that my resources and boundaries need to be sufficiently “pumped up” before I do trainings, workshops, healing sessions and even before gigs. There are some energetic techniques that can do this quickly but as you said it is just like building a muscle. We build our intuitive & energetic muscles to protect us while we share and become vulnerable.

    • Audrey,
      Thanks for this reminder! Yes, I think this is an area I would love to delve into a little more..The energy and boundary aspects. Sometimes I am so open I feel like a kitchen strainer ;-) I think there are ways to have loving boundaries. Actually, boundaries are loving. Thank you for sharing this important point. Peace, anne

  3. Hi Anne , yes I can relate . I feel like Im in one – even with opening to my self . I think there are very old beliefs that get triggered in us about what is safe and what is acceptable . They can be from very early childhood or other parts in life . I have been foung a lot of work with brliefs and discovered that some of them can be from past lives . Learning that self vompassion and i quiry like what you are talking about are key

    • Sara,
      Thanks for your comment! Yes, sometimes I think we don’t even know why we feel vulnerable and this is probably why, it’s a trigger from childhood or a memory we can’t directly access. Old beliefs! Glad you are in a phase of opening to yourself! :) Self compassion and inquiry: I like to be reminded of these each day. With gratitude, a

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